


deeper than you thought

by orphan_account



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Attempt at Humor, Big dick hours, Crying, Dead Dove: Do Not Eat, Everyone Needs A Hug, Extremely Dubious Consent, F/M, Fluff, I'm Bad At Tagging, Loss of Virginity, Obsessive Behavior, Obsessive Kylo Ren, Rape/Non-con Elements, Rey is 15, Smut, Stalking, ben is 30ish??, ben solo is a gamer, kinda extreme underage, ohgod why do i keep holding the backspace button
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-15
Packaged: 2020-06-24 14:28:17
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 3,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19725523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Rey finally makes the decision to quit swim after the worst season she's had, and meets new lifeguard Ben Solo who she starts to form a small crush on. What she doesn't know is that the pool is much deeper and dangerous than she thought.





	1. SLip

**Author's Note:**

> \\. I'm just gonna restart my writing and I'm having a caffeine high at 2:30 and IDK whats going on. I've just been watching scary movies and drinking a cocktail of melatonin and four shot coffee and writing is the only thing that is keeping me from thinking about how much the hat in my closet looks like the babadook. also aftershocks from da earfquake are not HELPING. I'm not sure if i'll finish this fic first and then start a new one, but i am making a PROMISE to myself to finish this and not delete it no matter what. Thanks for reading.

Holy fuck do I hate backstroke. Because why not waterboard myself as a hobby for christ's sake. God just this last heat and I'm done. Reaching for the rough tile I finally catch up and begin the battle of pulling myself out of the pool. Relief and awkwardness gushes in and replaces the water in my nasal cavity as an embarrassing wave of coughs and splutters draw eyes towards me. I don't even bother looking at the board to confirm my failure. I plan to get the fuck out of here asap. There's Chik-fil-a calling my name and no reason to stress over an activity I haven't held a passion for since I was ten.

"Jesus Rey, want to leave some water for the pool, or do you not have any at home?" Kaydel snorts, high-fiving one of her friends.

Dear lord please just let me leave this god awful place and relish what small comfort I have in my solitude. Part of me wants to shove her head underwater till she turns blue, but it's just another waste of time that comes with this horrible sport. The other part of me though, apparently decides on running before I have to deal with anyone else's bullshit. And of course just to top it off, I slip right outside the locker room. 

I decide to just scream for once, because after a season of Kaydel Connix's petty comments, enduring day after day of practice, and dealing with my demon of a stepmother, I deserve this. It does little to alleviate the striking pain in my foot, legs and tailbone. Yeah, the ringing in my ear and fading vision tell me I am not getting up soon. I look around me and the last things I see are tell-tale laughing faces and the worried look of a very tall lifeguard.

"Woah, hey are you alright? It looks like your foot's bl..."

Ringing drowned out everything and the force of the fall finally brings me to collapse to my side. The last thing I know for sure that I did was vomit what felt like a gallon of water and gatorade over someone's feet. I really hope they belonged to Kaydel.


	2. just swimmingly

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> no matter how many aftershocks or writers walls i have i will strive to complete this and hopefully write it well. 
> 
> also i'm sorry if the chapters are really short i hope to make them longer as the story picks up.

What the actual fuck just happened? One minute I'm running towards my freedom, and the next I'm in a nurse's office , with a pair of eyes four inches from my face. I blink again and see that they belong to the lifeguard that I apparently vomited buckets on based on that tell tale smell. Oh god why him. Why couldn't it have been Kaydel. My head is fucking killing me and I want to implode in on myself from the way his eyes are STARING INTO MY SOUL. I scooch away mortified and in pain. 

"Sorry! Sorry. I'm pretty sure you have a concussion and I needed to check your eyes as soon as you woke up." 

My ears are met with a nervous deep baritone voice that makes me shudder and my eyes meet his again. Slightly less awkward  
and more personal. He's weirdly hot in a way I can't describe, but his eyes, Jesus. They're beautiful. My thoughts become a jumbled mess as I still struggle to realize what's going on. 

"I've already tried calling your mom, but she hasn't picked up. Do you want to try calling her again or going to the hospital maybe?"

It takes me a second to respond because I'm lost again in his voice and eyes, and the pain in my head. It's weird though, we haven't broken eye contact since I woke up save for blinking. Am I that obvious? 

"Uhh, I'm alright. My mom isn't going to pick up and I feel fine, so I'm just gonna head home. I-I'm Rey. Thanks again for your help."

"I'm Ben. Ben Solo, and no way are you going home. I'm taking you to the hospital right now." He scolds me, and it makes me feel cared for in a strange way. I get up to hop off the cot and lose my balance right away. I feel his large hand grab my arm as my vision fades again. I'd freak out if I had the energy but the room is falling away again. Still though, I manage to stutter out an

"I-I'm f-fine." 

He shushes me and asks me if I can walk. I don't have the energy to use my voice and he makes the decision to pick me up and carry me. I blink and somehow I'm in a hospital bed with an IV in my arm. I feel a lot better already, but I can't remember how I got here. I look around for my stepmom but of course I don't see her anywhere. Then I remember who brought me here. I look around but can't see him anywhere. Just as I'm about to call a nurse though, Ben walks in holding two cups of what smells like coffee. I have to look away and my mind races. 

"Hey you're up. How are you feeling? Sorry if this is weird I just didn't know what else to do, and I didn't want to leave you alone ." he says handing me one of the cups.

"Better, thank you. I really appreciate all of this. I'm really sorry about all of this, I'll be fine I just need to call my mom." 

"Yeah of course. I'll just wait for you to make sure you get home safe."

He hands me his cellphone and I almost drop it as our fingers brush hands. They're so big. Jeez I cannot keep my mind straight with this man. Its nice for someone to finally care about you once in a while. Even if it is a complete stranger. I tap in my stepmom's number and await the suspected voicemail. I try two more times and hand him his phone back. The silence in between each call thickens the air with awkwardness and I'm suddenly deathly self conscious. Ben quickly cuts it with a warm smile and says he'll drive me home. I protest but we both know my mom isn't coming and there's no point in staying here. He hold his hand out to me again and I hesitate, until he just grabs my hand and we start walking to the parking lot. He insists on me leaning on him, and I could fall asleep. We make it to his red Honda civic and he asks me where I live. I stare into space for a split second and tell him. We pull out of the lot and while we're stuck at a light he tries to make conversation.

"Hey I'm sorry again this is really weird. I know I'm a total stranger but I've seen you around the pool, you're really good at swimming. I started working there two weeks ago, just cleaning and stuff. But yeah, how long have you been swimming?"

"Five years. To be honest I only enjoyed the first two years. I tried quitting but my mom complains that it'd be such a waste. God I hate her. Sorry I don't know why I'm telling you this."

"No really its ok, I want to get to know you. You seem really cool. I know how you feel, my mom sucks as well. Ugh. You're really easy to talk to."

"Thanks." 

It's the last thing I remember happening before falling asleep yet again in the company of Ben Solo.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> ben eats stringcheese and cyberstalks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thinking about glass in a ball pit. ouch.

"Hey, we're here." His voice wakes me up softly and his hand is still on my shoulder, warm and inviting.

When I open my eyes it takes a couple seconds to focus and the headache I once had is only very faint. Everything feels unreal, like I'm just having a really vivid dream, but his hand proves I'm here. My eyes start working and I'm more awake after a couple of minutes and I look out the window. I don't want to leave his car, it smells like weed and the 90's and its comforting. I turn to look at him and he's staring at me the way he was when I first woke up after my fall. 

"Look I'm ok alright? You don't need to check me again. Thank you again for all of this, I've never had a fall like that and I'd probably be in a bush if I had walked home." I say with a confident chuckle.

Then I'm fully awake when he doesn't look away, and I still feel his hand on my shoulder. We just sit there and hold each other's gazes in a moment that feels like eternity. I glance at my shoulder again, hand still there, and look up. "...Ben?"

I know I say his name, but my voice sounds different and It makes me wonder if I can speak.

"Are you feeling ok? You looked like you were about to faint for a second." he explains in a concerned tone. Of course, God I'm such an idiot. I just hope I didn't look like a stupid fuck again. Ughhh. Reality hits like a brick.

"Yeah I'm all good now don't worry. Thanks again!" I hop out of his car and climb my porch. Looking around and seeing him I wave. He waves back and for a split second I think he winks, and drives on. Facing my door I don't even bother to ring, knowing its going to be left open, I look back one more time, but don't see him. My mood is immediately killed as I see my stepmom on the couch with some guy on top of her. They're both asleep and naked, and I feel like vomiting again. At least my room has a lock and I have headphones. I go to take off my shirt and realize its Ben's sweater. I squeal inside a little and take it off, not wanting to ruin it. Being honest, what would be the point of having it and not knowing what he smelled like. It smells different than his car, but its nice. Sweet and earthy. Hanging it up in my wardrobe, I throw my swimsuit on the floor, too tired to but it in the laundry. Lifting my pillow, I'm relieved to still see my old crack iphone and my grey wool pullover. Nothing hits harder than wearing your favourite sweater and listening to the neighbourhood after a long hard nonsensical day. I can't help but think about Ben's hand on my shoulder as I drift off. 

\------------------------

On the drive home, Ben can't help but to scowl in frustration of how stupid he had been. Why was he that obvious?! He can only hope that she believed his excuse of her fainting again. But nothing could fix how he already knew where she lived without her telling him. Fuck. This was bad. Though she was so out of it from the concussion, he found no comfort in that, and prayed that she wouldn't realize anything. Even if she had thought he was attractive, as soon as she found out about his "more than crush", she'd totally call the police. Pulling up to his shared apartment, and also praying that his bothersome roommate Hux wasn't awake or fucking another random teenager, he turned off his car and dragged himself up the long flight of stairs. Shoving his hand in his back pocket and grabbing his keys, he felt the sleep deprivation catch up to him. It was worth it for today. The keys feel like lead in his hands but he's relieved to open the door and find the small living room empty and clean. Grabbing a bottle of water and a string cheese, Ben treads up to his room shutting and locking the door. Sighing in relief and frustration he grabs his laptop from under his bed and pulls up Rey's instagram as he had been doing religiously for a few weeks now. Waiting for her story to load he hears moaning coming from across the hall. 

"HUX SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Pounding on the wall behind him he hoped that it would stop, and it did. For thirty seconds. He shouted in anger and threw his shirt at the wall, but focused on the text that was showing up on Rey's story. 

" 🤒 Feeling under the weather. Taking a break for a while..." 

Closing his laptop with slight disappointment, he plugs in his earphones and hits shuffle. A memory flares up when he hears a melody from his childhood. Ben doesn't remember what its name is, and he doesn't want to know. He double taps the button on his earphones and tries to bury the feeling of his mothers arms around him. Staring at his ceiling, the popcorn roof turns blurry and he can feel the painful mist forming in his eyes. It takes him a second, but he manages to replace the happy look in his mother's eyes with Rey's doe-like ones. He remembers how her she felt as he held her in his arms. The smell of chlorine on her skin. The warmth she radiated. She was his sun. The smile on her face as she waved goodbye was a pleasant moment he would never forget. It makes him feel better as he curls up and falls asleep, clutching her towel, dreaming of holding her in his arms.


	4. shower thoughts

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rey tries to figure out the meaning between the previous day's transgressions. and Ben tries to plan while Armitage interferes.

My waking moment is peaceful and perfect. For the first ten seconds. The dull ache in my head though does not interfere with my memories from yesterday, or the emotions that follow them. I know I'm just being stupid but happy moments don't come easy for me, and my mind would like to think that final moment in his car was a little more than just him checking. It didn't seem like that to him. The look in his eyes was to, full. I don't really know any other way to put it. Shaking my head I wake up from the blissful morning haze and my headache becomes a little worse. Do I even dare or bother to grab an aspirin? YES, says the big pang that strikes me and almost brings me to my knees. Calling out for my stepmom, my morning gets surprisingly better when she doesn't reply. Sometimes she can be helpful and someone nice, like a roommate, but usually she's just a drunk nympho. Walking down the stairs seems like and uphill battle strangely and I try to keep myself from swaying while maneuvering to the cupboard above the stove, glad to see that there's still a couple left to get me through the next few days. I give out a long well earned sigh and wonder what I'll do for the rest of the summer. Day-by-day I guess. Maybe I'll still hang around the pool. No point in staying all cooped up at home. Chlorine still stains my hair and a shower sounds tempting right now. The bathroom looks like a storm hit and I can tell that she tried hard to sleep with whoever she was with last night. Pity kind of forms for her, she deserves love at least. Everyone does, no matter what. I turn on the water and wait for it to heat up, and start to sort the various brushes and bottles of makeup, placing them back in each little holder. The water then brushing my hand proves warm enough and I step in. My head finally feels at ease and my thoughts flow like the water running down on me. Smooth and constant. Today is a self-care day I decide, and I am so looking forward to non-bleach ruined skin and hair. The next thing that the water bring me to ponder is Ben. God, I know he's way older than me and shit, but he took way more care of me than anyone in my life ever has, and not in a fatherly or brotherly way either. The vibe was too...electric. Even in that haze, it was fucking dripping with something underlying. He was kind and caring, but the way his hand rested on my shoulder and the look in his eyes. What was it radiating? Concern? Reciprocation? The water runs too hot and I begin to feel my back being scorched. Yelping I turn it off and realize I'm just being stupid again. It's just a simple 'I think you're hot, thanks for saving me' kind of crush. Nothing more nothing less. Toweling off is a little more painful, and my back looks red as hell in the mirror. It's not as bad as some of the sunburns I've had during previous summers, but it stings when I put my shirt on, and I don't bother putting myself through the pain of a bra as well. Grabbing a random moisturizer, a jar of peanut butter, and a banana, I plop down on the couch and get ready for an Office marathon. 

\-------------------------------

Ben awakes to a familiar pounding on his door and questions why he hasn't found his own apartment. The choice between staying in bed and listening to Armitage's god awful yelling or jumping out the window is hard.The latter sounds promising but the man on the other side of the door wouldn't quit. Ben recalled a time when he was forced to listen to Hux's screaming for thirty minutes, just for going in his room. Shouting into his pillow, Ben managed to pull himself out of bed and to unlock the door. Laying down on the floor he closed his eyes and awaited another tongue lashing for some petty reason. Bursting into his room, Armitage looked around for Ben until taking a step forward, he rested his foot, heavily on the other mans chest.

"Ben, for the last fucking time, what have I fucking told you about touching my things and going in my room. I know someone touched my fucking phone and it sure as hell wasn't the cat. Next time you so much as peek inside my room or graze my phone again, you're losing a fucking finger." Hux dug his foot further and further until Ben couldn't take it and started coughing.

"Fuck's sake man, I know you've got a power thing going on but that doesn't prompt you standing on me for no fucking reason at 9 in the morning. And what the fuck are you talking about? Were you really that fucked up when you screwed another slut last night? I didn't do shit, now go fuck yourself."

"The fuck are you talking about I was alone last night. What's up your ass? You're more edgy than usual." Armitage retorts, his voice three octaves lower than it was. 

Ben can't believe how full of shit Hux can be sometimes. Is he that fucking oblivious to himself? Jesus. Hoping that is he could just answer his questions and have him leave, Ben attempted to just be somewhat civil and began to stand up and sit on his bed. Ben had tried many times before, hiding what was going on in his life from Hux, but he was a sneaky bastard and always knew what was up. No point in fighting the inevitable.

"Tell me about her." Cunt. 

"It's nothing man, and seriously you were so fucking loud last night. I didn't touch any of your shit ok? I'm tired so fuck off." Ben said admitting barely and just wanting to be alone. Armitage Hux was the last person he wanted to confide in. Ever. Praying that that was satisfactory enough he lay down and pulled the covers of himself but was disappointed to feel a hand rip them back. 

"I've never seen you like this. Its fucking weird. Just tell me about her, and I won't make Milli claw your eyes out while you sleep. How old is she?" Armitage says with the audacity to wink when Ben turned his head.

"You're a fucking perv, you know that? Piss off, she's just some girl. And I don't want your shitty coke induced advice."

Armitage decides that he'll dig when Ben's vulnerable and has no one else to turn to. Getting up to leave he stares at Ben, who proceeds to pick up his phone and tap in his password. Of course Hux already knows it, but Ben's not stupid enough to keep shit on his phone. Just before closing the door, he decides to go ahead and give Ben a little tip. 

"She'll either go for you or she won't. It just depends if you'll go for her even if she's made a choice."

Hearing the door shut, Ben sits up and his mind starts falling apart. Doubt comes in and instills fear in him. He promises that he'd never do anything to hurt her, but he wanted to protect her no matter what. But what would he do if she said no? The choice was thrown back at him. Hux was a monster, and the things he did were horrible and cruel. Ben had swore to himself to never be like him, tricking sad broken girls and leaving one after another more broken than the last. Because he loved Rey. He had love, Hux didn't. Ben would never hurt her, or let anyone hurt her. Although what Armitage said scared him. He knew he could lose control sometimes. No. Never with Rey. He got up and headed to the shower. He was going to check on her, and everything would be right.


End file.
